I've seriously...

changed alot since I've written on here and first got the damn thing hahaha. 
Completely forgot about Xanga. My bad.
Well, let's see...an update on my life...
Blarg.
Things are pretty wild, fun and confusing at the moment but, I'm living life and doing my best to enjoy every minute of it.  I'm finding more things about myself everyday. Kinda, in a way gettn back to my old self. The little things in life are the best aaand, so many little things are happening here and there...there and here lol. I'm also thinking...fuck relationships for the moment..I think I'm going to just live..I mean..not fuck around but maybe, be with someone but not exactly..committed? It's too much for me lol..I don't think a relationship should be me thinking " Ugh, I have to put up with this? " Not a good way to think about it.  I'm not even sure what my heart wants anymore...I knew at the moment and now that's changing..idk..maybe I'm just thinking too much or what but, if the love was real..I don't think there should be any doubt whatsoever. So for right now...I'm not taking anything serious..I just realized that might be one of the stupidest things I can do right now. I just gotta focus on me and not worry about someone else. That's how I am at least...and I don't need anyone up my ass tellin me that I cant do this or why didn't you call me blah blah blah. Lol. Ok well, now I'm just babbling hahaha aye aye.  Well, if you all ever read this...you bitches mostly because I know no one else reads this shit..uuum, I miss you guys I miss alot of the old times when we were always chillin. We all have taken our own roads to start our lives..well you girls are just growing up into life, doin the whole kids and man kinda thing. Good luck with all that you two bitches are doin a good job. One day, in the far future I will be joining that lifestyle lol...not now tho and not anytime soon. Love you hoes. 

Xanga is soo lame.

Let's meet contestant number 1. He's a schitsofranic serial killer clown, who says women lo-o-ove his sexy smile. Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharron. Sharron what's your question?

Contestant #1 I believe first impressions last forever. So let's say you were to come over to my parents house and have dinner with me and my family tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick?

Let's see...hmm..Well I'd have to think about. I might show up in a tux...HA but I doubt. I'd probably just show up naked like I always do. And look your mamma in the eye and tell her FUCK YOU! Hurry up bitch I'm hungry. I smell spaghetti. I'd pinch her lumpy ass. Tell her "Get the food ready!" Your dad would probaly start trippin and get me pissed, I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips. It's dinner time. We're hearing grace from your mother. I pull the forty out and pour some for your little brother. In stead I'm starin at your little sister. I'll tell ya this. Ya know for only thirteen she's got some big tits. After that your dad'll try to jump again and only this time I'd put the forty to his chin. After your mom does the dishes and the silverware I try to fuck her till I nut in my underwear.

Now let's meet contestant number 2. He's a pyscopathic, duranged crack head freak, who works for the "Dark Carnival." He says women call him stretch nuts. Sharron let's hear your question.

I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, a man who expresses himself in his own special way. Number 2 if you fell in love with me exactally how would you let me know?

First thing. I could never love you. You sound like a witchy bitch. YO FUCK YOU! But if I did I'd probably show you that I care by taking all these other muthafuckas outa here. I'll go through you phone book and whack 'em all. And find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw.(What?!?) Anyone who look at ya would have to pay. I'd be bustin fuckin nuggets off all day. I grab your tities and stretch em down passed your waste, let em go and watch em both spring up in your face. I sing love songs to ya. The best I can . Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman.... Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand. I throw a little in your face and say "I'm just playin." As you spit it all out I rub your back and grab your underwear and wedge it up in your ass crack.

Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just over flowing with sensitivity Sharron. It's a tough choice so far. Sharron let's have your last question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your neb...

OK. If we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time. Tell me, how you each get my attention and what would your pick up lines be. Who's ever the smoothest wins.

Ok. First. I'd s-s-slide up to the bar. And,tell you that i can't believe how fucking fat you are. I'd tell you that I like the way you make your tities shake, and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake.

FUCK THAT! You'd be dockin me quick. I'd order you a drink, and stir it wit my dick. And then to get, your attention in the crowded place I simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face.

YA! Freak her wit your nuts yo that'll get her.
Tell her that she's fat. YA that'll work even better.
Look FUCK YOU! I gotta strong rat. Shit. You don't want contestant number 2. He's mad whack. I walk into a bar and there he was, standin up on a bucket, agagag,tryin to fuck it. It was a big fuckin smelly ass farm llama.
DAM DAWG!! How you gonna dis yo mamma?

I'll never be the same, breaking decency
Don't be tree trunk, don't fall on my living roots
I've been humming too many words got a weak self-esteem
That's been stomped away from every single dream
But it's something else, that brought us feaze
Keep it all inside, until we feel we can't unleash
I think that you made it up, I think that your mind is gone
I think you shouldn't glorified, now your wrong

Suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck
They fuck with my head
Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck it, bitch!

You and me are here alone face flat along the edge of the glass
But I'm not here to preach, I'm just sick of thugs
My parents made me strong to look up that glass
So why should I try? Act like I'm a little pissed off
With all that shit that needs to stay back in the shell
Your fuck ass made it up ah, your fucking mind was gone
Should've never glorified, now your right

Suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck
They fuck with my head
Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck it, bitch!

Because you don't know me, shut up you don't know me
Squeal like a pig when you big fuckin', big fuckin'
Aappee!

Well I'll tell you about my smoke stack
What's coming back jack we'll turn back
Curse for in their words, tell them that you fucking heard
I mean, they know that's what's coming, nigga
I thinking 'bout something naughty, and won't tell anybody
So thinking of me by now but you go grab it
I'd like to think, for who I down this shit, I belong where they be
'Cause we can not get back those lives

We exist to cease, understand
God hates blacks shades and all the players
Mr. P.I.G. 'cause I fuckin' see
Sure already done crushed, all of my brothers dignity
And to the jury, can't be no turns on my skin looks colored
Does that mean I'm burnt? 'Cause your fuck ass made it up
Your fuckin' mind was gone should've never glorified, wrong

Suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck
They fuck with my head
Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck
Suck you bitch!
Bye

Welll.

I'm so tired of being here at home.  I hate the way things turned out for my parents.  I'm sympathetic for the both of them I really am.  My dad is trying to tell me that I'm on one side, which is my moms side.  But no I'm not.  I'm not on either side, I did't even know there was sides, like what the fuck.  He's over here calling my mom all these names in front of my mom.  Does he really think thats okay?   No it's not okay, it's not okay at all.  I can't say I completely understand where he's coming from.  But he can't go telling me I don't know shit either.  I'm not stupid.  He can keep on telling me how irresponsible I am, or how oblivious I am to things, tell me I'm asleep all he wants but I'm not and I know what's going on.  Get fucking real.  Like I don't see whats right in front of me.  I'm not saying I'm the smartest, or that I see it ALL but I see what I what needs to be seen.  They were doing so good with getting along and then BAM.  UGH.  He's full of shit.  I feel bad for the both of them.  I didn't want this for anyone.  And if i could make it all go away, just fix it all, I would with no hesitation.  I miss what use to be, but it's nothing like that anymore.  He wants to talk to me about God and this and that.  Would God call his adulteress a fat ass bitch cunt whore? No, I think not.  I could only imagine how divorces could go much worse than this.  They are both children.  BOTH OF THEM.  Right now I'm listening to my dad trying to talk to my mom, after earlier he called her names.  And she's all like, blah blah blah blah blah leave me alone blah blah blah blah blah.  What the hell?  Come the fuck on, not even I did that with Legion.  I don't know.  And it's not like anything I say to the either of them will matter because I'm only 19 and I don't know what I'm talking about.  That's how it works around here.  I can't wait for it to all be over.  And I'm sure I can speak for everyone on that one.  It really just hurts all of us.  But for now we're just going to go through this.  The next time my dad calls my mom names though, and I'm not choosing sides when I say this but, I am gonna speak my mind whether he yells at me or not.  It's not right no matter how much wrong my mom did.  But yeah I just felt like writing some stuff.